Barack Obama was a slave but he turned out to be a good man through hard work.

Ok, so I’ve got my work cut out for me with this group lol.

Download it here: The First Democratic Presidential Debates of the 2008 Race

Michael Moore Bring Balance to the Force

A neighborhood family visits the party and they are an interesting bunch. The dad arrives (I never see their mom really) with his 10 year old daughter and their 7 year old son. This kid is like an interesting boy – very creative (the one that asked me if there was a galaxy made of pillows lol).

So there is a woman, Racquel, who is sitting there listening to me talk to this family, but the daughter is not there. So she asks the dad if Emi (the 7 year old) is an only child. The dad says “Yes.” Emi is looking around so confused – it’s a hilarious expression. He says, “But I have a sister!” The dad says, “Well I meant he doesn’t have any brothers.” hahaha Hilarious.

So finally Carla shows up. She starts talking to Raquel and I mention to Racquel that she plays the accordion. So Racquel asks, “Does your mom play an instrument?” Carla says, “No, she’s Mexican.” HA! Racquel sure got an interesting impression of that family. I was laughing so hard it was too hilarious!

1. If he criticized he was a racist.
2. If he talked about the war he was George Bush.
3. If he told the truth about his opponent’s connections, his campaign was “dying” and trying to grab on to anything.
4. A candidate that had the media hook, line, and sinker.
5. A candidate that had the blind devotion of the youth – especially the ones that actually have time to quit their McDonald’s job and jump on the bus across America.

I know there’s even more but I need to get ready for work. Anyway, I’m just tired of it. There was a point when every conservative knew deep down that Barack Obama was going to win. No matter how many times I said for someone to keep their chin up – I only hoped McCain was going to win. And he is not Santa Claus – just believing in him wasn’t going to get him elected. It wasn’t something McCain did wrong. He couldn’t have picked a better VP candidate. There was no one better than Sarah Palin. It’s just that Obama had Sarah Palin’s energy from the first day he announced he was running. It wasn’t that McCain wasn’t conservative enough. No one upset about the Republican choice would have been stupid enough to not vote for McCain (Okay, maybe like 5 people). I am asking myself who could have beat Obama? The very first person I thought could do it was Guliani. He is a whip and he is pretty cool. I think young folks like him because he looks like a mobster (sorry, it was all about image) lol. But he actually didn’t have a chance. “WE” let the media destroy his campaign from the start. We drank the kool-aid the media was feeding us: “Conservatives aren’t going to like the fact that he’s had 87 divorces.” At the RNC Guliani showed what a powerhouse he was on the pulpit (so to speak). But the media scared Christian conservatives away from him very, very early on. Sorry, my friend Jonathan – Romney couldn’t have done it. The media destroyed his campaign as well: “Will conservatives vote for a Mormon?” “Does he have the perfect presidential hair?” I loved the guy, but alas. He was my next choice. If not Guliani, then Romney. He would have had the ability to beat Obama on every economic issue. But Romney’s image was too much like the old and traditional. The media accepted him for a while because he would have lost anyway. That is just the reality. This campaign wasn’t about issues – it was about image, change, and slogans.

So Mike Huckabee wasn’t worth mentioning. Who was going to vote for Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes? Huckabee just wasn’t going to cut it for more than 20 percent of American voters. While these aren’t comments on their policies, I just really hate that we are going down the “What did McCain do wrong?” road. The truth is, anything we would have wanted him to do right would not have done anything but continue to fire up the base and lose him more votes from the middle. America didn’t CARE about anything Obama had done wrong. It was image – and the Messiah image is a powerful one, but even more powerful was the beaten down and attacked black man. If you say anything about this guy, you are a monster. McCain couldn’t have gone harder without coming out perfectly as a grand dragon of the KKK. Ron Paul – well now there is a conundrum. He could have challenged the democrats with change, but I think Republicans would have been running to Hillary if he was the nominee. McCain was the only choice who could have gotten as much of the vote as he did with the media’s approval. I think there are some that could have gotten more in the end, but the weren’t allowed to go this far.

I call this situation The Machine, because I think we have to understand this: Things are going to get harder each year. Values are slipping – one of conservatives’ big points. Concern about life is slipping. Another big one. Our nation’s understanding of foreign policy have been completely brain-washed. I actually saw someone say we “SHOULD” be more like Europe – and they live there! I think if they live in Europe they should know how awful the government is. I did a little experiment last year. I watched Fox News’ updates on the war and I watched CNN’s. I wanted to point out to people that CNN could put a horrible spin on anything. So we watch Fox and we hear that Marines took a major area in Anbar province. We flip to CNN and since there wasn’t enough American soldiers killed in that battle, they have a special covering how many of our soldiers have been killed so far. This was not a singular incident. This was typical. You could probably even run the test now, but we haven’t had as much heavy fighting as last year.

Here is the thing, conservatives. I know if I have commented on stuff other people have posted I’ve seemed a bit cynical and something like a very right-winged Christian conservative. When we are talking about the issues, I look at America as a whole. I don’t want to look at only what I will think, how I will vote, or what I will do. I think, “Is the typical conservative going to go for that?” There are some issues that have opened up rifts between Democrats and Republicans like that between Israel and Palestine. It is going to be hard for the two to meet in the middle or for us to steal that support away. Not impossible, but it is going to take a command performance from someone the media can’t automatically black list. Ideas and theories are great, but I think the first thing we need to know is that the only thing that went wrong in this election was from the start we believed the media hype about our own people. I think Michelle Santos made some good points in her note Progressive Conservatism Topics Part 1. We are going to have to stop being afraid of candidates that open up the playing field to some new options or we’re not going to win, barring a major Obama screw up which is what most of us have said we are waiting for.

Look at the bus signs they are putting out now. “Why believe in God?” This is an outright challenge and a part of the same Machine that we are fighting. This is not some mere election we can do over in four years. The war has been going on for a very, very long time and we just lost a major battle. We can’t sit around wondering what McCain did wrong. If he had done anything more right, he would have lost supporters. If he had done anything more wrong (meaning more leftist) he would have lost more supporters. LOL – like The Oracle said in the Matrix. The choice was already made. Now we just have to understand it. America is spiraling. It’s not likely to get better without a massive assault like the one that is being thrown in front of us right now, starting with Education. We have to plan an all out assault and then be patient. Even if Obama screws up, we have to make sure that it doesn’t happen this way again. They took our public schools – let’s build private ones that open up traditional values teaching to many income levels. They took over the media, let’s stop giving them our money and support conservative venues. They sponsor anti-Americanism in every venue. Let’s sponsor (that means financially) pro-American films, books, speakers, everything (Conservatives have the money!). They have planned this moment in history and still it’s not their perfect moment (communism), BUT we can start planning too. We can’t let the only party that has the balls to defend America die out. That means we are going to have to recognize characteristics that we truly need at the moment and forget about some we can bend on now.

I don’t know Michelle – was that an educated response? LOL. Excuse any typos! I’m late for work!!

The laws of the jungle and why we are ill equipped for combatting the jungle . . .
__________

One thing I love about this book is that it pinpoints the key problems in American society that are causing our own problems. When Reagan said you can have peace right now, just surrender – he was speaking to the American condition. Our mindset of surrender. It was no a question of whether we would win, it was a question of whether we had the will to win.

America Wins . . .
_________

Our problem today is not an ability to fight, but the lack of will. That will results from the fact that we treat every nation equally – meaning, they are thinking as we are. Harris uses the “Law of the Jungle” term to say that the world is a jungle, but America is uniquely special. We have ironed out an existence away from the jungle. Many other European countries have as well, but up until the last 40 years, there was a difference. We were still a new country with plenty of wars for freedom under our belts and we realized that the jungle was real and still existed. We knew that in order to keep danger and disease from our society, we had to fight off the jungle, create a barrier between us and them or destroy it.

Today, Harris says that most of us – even conservatives have truly forgotten the jungle. European countries were able to forget because America, the new “Imperialists” were taking care of punking all of the bad guys. They declined much more quickly that we did because we had no one ready to defend us with the massive force that we could use to come to the aid of our own allies.

I am a teacher and we teach our children and raise them to be polite, unselfish, and nice. We take the fight out of our boys, telling them that they need to be gentle and caring. (I don’t down those traits, but lets compare to what they are going to be up against.) At the same time, we have an enemy that has professed hate for us, not because we interfered – but because of our way of life. And that enemy is raising their children to be strong, dedicated to Islam and the destruction of Israel, The Great Satan and all the infidels. So my generation goes away. Probably the last generation outside of the south that would know anything about why football is important for boys’ sense of strength – why defending the weak was important (not just emotionally supporting them while they get their asses kicked). What will our kids be left with? No will to fight. No will to win. The reality of this does not compute for our fragile minds – far displaced from the jungle, but that reality IS sink or swim. Keep your culture, your heritage, your strength, your freedom – or don’t. When you communicate the message in this way to people, they can’t handle it. They are too far gone from the laws of the jungle to even fathom what you are saying.

Over the weekend and during the school week, I had some interesting moments. In one, my liberal housemate came to me after hearing many low flying military planes flying over. She wanted to know if I knew what was going on. Interesting she ran to the conservative lol. Anyway, it unsettled her. We are not used to this. Military fly-overs, tanks in the streets. Other non-western cultures are and whether they like it or not doesn’t matter. They are mentally used to it or can adjust to the concept of being attacked and what responses are instantly needed. Sink or swim. During the week, we had the air force doing fly-overs for an air force week celebration. My students were unsettled by this. Me too because I am also removed from the jungle as well (I just understand this about myself). Our head teacher at the time was nervous and asked me if I knew anything. I said it was probably for Veteran’s Day or something. There was this tension though of, “What is going on in my world?!?!?!” I realized the difference between me and the other teacher in that room. If we had been attacked, I would have been expecting it. They would have been mystified. This is not a positive or a negative thought. It is just reality. I believe the jungle is gathering around us. They don’t believe in the jungle because everyone is equal – every culture is equal. Every person wants what the average American wants. These are dangerous lies that have permeated through out our culture.

I hope you’ll read these books – or at least post some that may be similar that you’ve read. Their importance can be summed up into three words: Sink or swim.

Bruce Bawer on Communist ideology in practice versus Capitalist ideology . . .
__________

To be sure, if the Cold War anti-Americanism of people like my hosts in Tübingen was reality-denying, in a way it reflected a keen awareness of reality. For Gunther and Eva knew that however much mud they threw at America, U.S. soldiers would remain stations in their country, ready to fight and die for them. America was a safe enemy– a phony enemy. Seen from a certain angle, indeed, Gunther and Eva’s political views were nothing but a big game of pretend. It was as if America were a doting parent and they were its spoiled children, treating it with disrespect even as they enjoyed the security of knowing that they were under its absolute protection and would never be allowed to come to harm.”

On Soviet run East Germany compared to West Germany:

“Later that night, I stirred from sleep and looked out the window to discover that we were pulling into a station in East Germany. It was grotesquely dilapidated: the light fixtures were primitive and battered, and large chunks of the platform . . . were simply missing. It looked as if a battle had taken place there earlier in the day.

The big thrill, during that remarkable time, was to walk the streets of West Berlin and see East Berliners catching their first awed glimpses of First World wealth. I’ll never forget the gap-mouthed looks of amazement on the faces of men, women, and children alike as they took in the shiny buildings and cars and the abundance of clothing, appliances, and food in stores. I’ll never forget the ease with which I could tell the Westerners, with their healthy complexions, unscared expressions, and confident strides, from the gray Easterners, who, for all their delight, still bore the marks of their suffering–pallor, cowed postures, eyes tinged with angst. This, I knew was the face of Communism’s everyday victims. To deny its reality, or try to find anything good in it, was obscene.”

I love this particular portion of the book. Here we see how America takes the punches for the world because we are not going to issue any fatwas on people for talking or even burning our flag. Europeans can hate us. It’s trendy. Americans can hate their own country. We aren’t going to sick dogs on them in the street, despite every opportunity for Liberal America to try to make it look like our system has turned against the people – they don’t even have a clue what that truly looks like. The Great Satan only stepped out when provoked and then people really didn’t like what they saw – The super power defending itself.

This is another great read! Pick it up!

Look at our children today. How are they being raised. A lot of you conservatives try to do a great job raising your children biblically. Even if someone is not a Christian, they might teach their child natural law – and since God is the creator of nature, natural law is His law. My dad was a king in every way that he thought and made decisions. He would say things that confused us because he is a king and we didn’t understand his vision. But later, when everything had finally worked out, or didn’t (because we didn’t listen) we could see that he was right all along. He taught us about natural law without calling it that. He taught us about biblical principles and the things that God liked. In our society, we often think about what we want God to do for us, but we never think about the fact that God is a person or entity that has His own likes and dislikes. That is sort of what we are given in the Old testament. Cain and Abel – God liked certain sacrifices. Just because Abel brought a better sacrifice, Cain took it as an insult. He chose not to give God what He wanted. Just as if one of your children asked you for an XBox 360, and you gave them a Gameboy. Just not what God wanted. My dad taught me that.

When I was angry that I wasn’t in sync with God, I wanted to change Him to suit my life. My dad made me realize that God is the center of everything. It is like trying to make the Sun go around the Earth. It was not meant to be and the Earth could not power the existence of this solar system. My mom made me cautious and safe with a motherly sense of protection, my step-mom gave me a love of life and womanhood, but my dad gave me a respect for and belief in God that was so much more than the phrases people throw around. And when he talks about what he wants for his family – that is always it. He wants them to love God and go to Heaven. He is truly a King.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for a lot of things, but the thing I am most thankful for is that my dad taught me so much about life in just the short amount of time we’ve gotten to be together. That time we have gotten to spend together has changed my mind about a lot of things, helped me understand a lot of things about God, men, life, marriage, and personal strength. And while, some of those lessons I’m still trying to master, I find myself a very different person from who I was a few years ago. So here’s to my dad – the guy that is always in my heart.

(Whenever I read this poem, I can hear my dad saying it in his very pepped and motivating way)

Carry On
By Robert Service

It’s easy to fight when everything’s right,
And you’re mad with the thrill and the glory;
It’s easy to cheer when victory’s near,
And wallow in fields that are gory.
It’s a different song when everything’s wrong,
When you’re feeling infernally mortal;
When it’s ten against one, and hope there is none,
Buck up, little soldier, and chortle:

Carry on! Carry on!
There isn’t much punch in your blow.
You’re glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You’re muddy and bloody, but never you mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven’t the ghost of a show.
It’s looking like death, but while you’ve a breath,
Carry on, my son! Carry on!

And so in the strife of the battle of life
It’s easy to fight when you’re winning;
It’s easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair and defeat
With a cheer, there’s the man of God’s choosing;
The man who can fight to Heaven’s own height
Is the man who can fight when he’s losing.

Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show that you haven’t a cowardly streak,
And though you’re unlucky you never are weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace up for another attack.
It’s looking like hell, but — you never can tell:
Carry on, old man! Carry on!

There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
And some who in brutishness wallow;
There are others, I know, who in piety go
Because of a Heaven to follow.
But to labour with zest, and to give of your best,
For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand and a song;
Why, there’s the real sunshine of living.

Carry on! Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer;
There’s big work to do, and that’s why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!

Chuck Norris doesn’t take showers, he takes bloodbaths.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has ten dollars.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes one element: The element of surprise.
Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
One of my favorites: When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
One of the original favorites: When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don’t really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Love this one: If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.
Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Ha!: Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Another favorite: Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
LOL: If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.
Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Another favorite: Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
That’s not Chuck Norris doing push-ups — that’s Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
As President Roosevelt said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris.”
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you
“Brokeback Mountain” is not just a movie. It’s also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris’ fists is inside his own body.
Another fav: Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
HAHAHA: Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris’s version of a “chocolate milkshake” is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
Maslow’s theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
Coroners refer to dead people as “ABC’s”. Already Been Chucked.
Another classic!: Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death
There are two types of people in the world… people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris’ eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody’s future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Every time someone uses the word “intense”, Chuck Norris always replies “you know what else is intense?” followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him “a promising Rookie”.
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Chuck Norris’ credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Ha! : Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
Ok this is good: We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states. (haha over 50 states)
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history’s most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay. (this sort of defense is common among liberals)
I cracked up on this one: They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem– It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
When Arnold says the line “I’ll be back” in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris doesn’t daydream. He’s too busy giving other people nightmares.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said “of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?”
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn’t even come close.
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one……..one bad-ass that is.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA: Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him. (I love this one!)
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.
Count from one to ten. That’s how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you…Fourty seven times.
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ. (It’s a good thing . . . Martha sure isn’t going to bother)
Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
Ha: Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
ROFL: Chuck Norris did not “lose” his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Chuck Norris’ pulse is measured on the richter scale.
HAHAHAHA: Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn’t kill women.
For Chuck Norris, every street is “one way”. HIS WAY.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
Before sliced bread, people used to say “Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris”. But Chuck Norris was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices.
Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
If you gave Chuck Norris a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare.
Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those “some people” are now dead.
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.

Thanks to Chuck Norris and plenty of SN – I am a happy camper again. I was frustrated with someone today, but Chuck Norris has bigger fish to fry – he fries them with his rage, and also vegetable oil.

Well some British dude with a particle accelerator (or something like that) and that very anti-survival British attitude has decided to perform a big no-no tomorrow and kill us all. If you’re still here tomorrow, hopefully his experiment failed or was greatly flawed.

Since it’s the end of the world, I’ve composed a little POORLY written poem to remember our existence . . . humanity, the great experiment:

Looking back, it’s easy for anyone to think,
That these oh successful creatures were always on the brink.
Perhaps war, perhaps disease, or just plain unwillingness,
Has constantly put our ability to survive to the test.
We’ve all had a good run, whether you’re at peace or despair,
Many problems we’ve faced seemed terribly unfair.
I know if there was another Thursday, you’d surely laugh,
At every single mistake and every single gaff.
Perhaps we could have done it differently,
Perhaps we could have tried.
When all the world would work together,
Perhaps none of us may have died.
It’s easy to think that, holding hands, we might prevail,
Those hippie sentiments, with their attractive music, would assail,
Every decent person who dreamt of a just and fair world.
Perhaps it is a kind thing that ultimately sought to unfurl.
But cheer up: Not only does humanity, with all it’s beauty perish,
But there should not be a liberal idea left for one to cherish.
Gone from the universe, all communists, socialists, and other ists meet their end,
Though good things die and good people fall,
No more must we tend,
To failing ideas, emotional voters, and even Europeans,
All seeking to destroy the good and arm the North Koreans (lol).
Driving us to a state with all it’s impotence and ignorance, made feral,
One last time, let’s raise the cup and toast to the end of the liberal.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is me, signing off. Good night and good bye. BEEEEEEP (sound of the lost signal lol)